Of Life and Dreams

Posted on June 14, 2013

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It’s been quite a long time since I have written something here in my blog. Too much has been going on over the summer. Phew! I have some drafts that I have set aside, but I couldn’t remember what I was thinking then or how to finish them.

I thought, maybe I need to change a few things in my blog. I read my entries again (all of them), and lo and behold my entries surprised me. I thought, “Wow! Who is this person? Is this really the work I used to do awhile back?” I can’t believe I was able to write those. Where did I get all those ideas from? What I noticed from my previous entries is that they were really serious, it’s as if I was in a trance or some sort. Or perhaps, I was in a dark place, thinking about all the crap that life had given me on my plate. Right now, I couldn’t care less. Right now, I’m in a good place and I want to stay here.

To be honest, what made me who I am today is probably because of my past relationships. What brought me to that dark place a few weeks ago was because of someone. Someone who seemed to crush even the tiniest veins in my heart. Have you ever felt so happy, yet, so trapped at the same time? it’s a terrible feeling. It’s like you could just jump ump and down and touch the moon and the stars because of how happy you are. At the same time, knowing that you can’t because of you’ll notice all the shackles that nature set up, especially just for you.

The earth that we stand on reminds us of our place and home. Where we are most familiar of ourselves. Like gravity, the earth keeps pulling us back to the ground to remind us that there something far more above us and that there are things in our lives that are definitely unreachable. Like the atmosphere protecting us from the dangerous UV rays from the sun, there are certain people and stuff there to protect us and keep us safe and yet we still end up breaking through harming both parties in the process. Like space having no oxygen, when we are almost so close to the things we adore most, we may give up because we are unprepared and we could no longer breath. Possibly, losing sight of ourselves. The stars in the skies remind us of our dreams that we will always aim to hopefully reach one day.

Most people claim to be dreamers. But, that’s just it. They’re dreamers and not doers. Only a few strive to the point that they will really reach their desires. Some won’t even do anything to reach them. Some only reach half way and some give up when their dreams are almost on their reach. Most of us, give up. I admit, I am not much of a doer when it comes to dreams. Not because I get lazy (maybe a little), but mostly because I’m scared. Afraid of what may happen next. I get all these questions in my head, which makes me second guess about even doing something.

life and dreams

Stairway to heaven.

If I reach my dreams, what then? What’s next for me? Conjure a new one? Will I even be satisfied enough with what I will be having? I’m afraid because I can’t see what’s next. Which is why I hate surprises. Sure, I get thrilled by the thought of it. But, the feeling of not knowing anything hurts more than the pain I felt when I fell down my bike. It’s like being blinded by the what path is in front of me. It’s like not seeing or feeling anything in front of me. It feels like darkness.

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Posted in: Random Thoughts