Mourning Celebrations

Posted on April 9, 2013

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I thought of skipping April 9, 2013’s Daily Prompt: Do over! because I know I’ll constantly be doing some edits and do-overs of my blog entries. But then, I remembered this entry that I once promised myself of adding “more” content. So, I guess this pretty much counts as a monumentuous do over.

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I was just skimming through my Facebook homepage when a friend of mine messaged me saying, “Our grades in CRE are already out.” I didn’t take this course for this semester, but it is always good to keep track of how my batch mates are doing with theirs. Then, she said two of their class failed, one of which was a close friend of ours. It’s a sad thought, but then I remembered a line said by Debbie Novotny, from Queer As Folk, said to Emmet at the end of Season 3.

Debbie

Debbie & Emmet – QAF 03×13
by Showtime Entertainment

“Mourn the losses because they’re many, but celebrate the victories because they’re few”.

Throughout our journey, we have to remember all moments and memories. Create and mold yourself through those memories, whether good or bad. Looking back may bring back all those bad memories, but you will never be able to move forward if there is nothing behind you. But remember, looking back can also bring back those good memories, without them, you also can’t move forward.

Losing something we love is truly painful, especially if it’s that important to you. It feels like a part of you is missing. I remembered how I felt when I lost my doggie bestfriend. Our time together was short, but I grew up with her and she became a huge part of me. I can still remember her soft hair as I brush them. Her muscular voice (yes, she barks like a thug). Her slobs when she licks me everytime I got home from school. But alas! The time came when she became weak. We didn’t know what happened to her, but when we took her to the vet it was already too late. She was no longer breathing. When the doctor called her in, I just stared at her. I stood there, watching her dead body, watching her sorry eyes. I couldn’t move. I tried to go near her, but I just couldn’t. I just stood there for what felt like an eternity. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I felt so weak and so vulnerable. When I finally had the strength to reach her, I hugged her tight. I hugged her lifeless body and cried. I didn’t care who was there in the room, I just cried.

I felt so stupid for crying so much. But, I felt so relieved that I did cry. I also knew that I can’t cry about it forever. I knew I had to move on. There are times in life when you just have to move on. Time and time again, I can still remember vivid memories of her. I guess by now, enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.

To fill the gap that my doggie bestfriend had left, my parents had thought of replacing her. But, I knew, deep in my heart, there will always be a special place for her that nothing can ever replace. Not even the two cute little puppies that we have now that resembles her completely. One resembles her playfulness and the other resembles her love to be carried around attitude. If you add both of them together, I guess they add up to my doggie bestfriend – and that’s one thing to celebrate on.

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